Aquinas/Nazareth Opening School Mass

The Aquinas/Nazareth opening school mass was so terrible that I felt the need to resurrect a blog that had not been posted in since Christmas simply to describe it in full, painful detail.

My first impression of the mass was that it was densely packed with students, as it contained all of Aquinas and all of Nazareth. Throughout the mass the students where I was standing were packed extremely tightly, and I found it easiest to stand sideways.

After my homeroom finally discovered where we were supposed to sit, I started to look around. I glanced at a group of girls wearing sleeveless (but high-collared), short, sparkly peach dresses, and i got a sinking feeling that they would dance. And dance they did. During the opening hymn, the girls (and one boy who was wearing a blue t-shirt and black pants) started slowly walking through the isle of Nazareth students, their arms in front of them as if they were zombies. once they reached the front, they stood in a formation and moved oddly in something I would not consider a dance in any context. While they moved, a teacher, presumably the Nazareth music teacher, was standing at a microphone, rocking back and forth and bouncing up and down with a guitar, singing. There was also a teacher (whom I'd heard was a Spanish teacher) on drums. The entire thing looked terribly un-Catholic, and I found myself rather glad that the mass was in the gym - I didn't want to have bad associations of the Auditorium and I would never wish that on a church.

After this Opening Dance of Paganism (ODP) the bishop gave a short welcome and expressed his pleasure that everyone in the mass seemed to be enjoying themselves. I would like to take this moment to point out that most of the Aquinas teachers had a look on their face that showed they were both confused and mortified while trying to be charitable. The Aquinas choir, both at this moment and throughout the mass, would have momentary looks of confusion flash across their faces before resuming a blank look. It is my belief, then, that Bishop Clark was merely addressing the Nazareth teachers. He thanked the girls (and boy) for the ODP and began mass, arbitrarily paraphrasing prayers the entire way through.

At some point during the mass, Nazareth teachers directed a horde of little, adorable students to the front and began leading them in odd hand motions that I doubted were actual sign language, judging by the fact that they didn't match up with the words in meter or meaning. I found it less unorthodox than the ODP, but only slightly.

The bishop's homily seemed to be about angels, but, try as I might, I could not listen to what he had to say, so I busied myself mentally writing this post and noticing that some pre-schoolers were wearing suits (they were adorable). I think somewhere the bishop stopped talking about anything remotely relevant and started talking about football, and I became glad that looks couldn't kill, because I would be facing murder trials. At the end of this homily, they blatantly skipped the Nicene creed, despite its being written in full on the program and proceeded to the general intercessions. I mumbled the Nicene creed as fast as I could, pausing for the "Lord, hear our prayer"s.

During the consecration, while the bishop paraphrased the Eucharistic prayer and I tried not to collapse into a heap and die, I had a sudden worry that they would make us do the 'wave'. It may have been due to the bleachers. They did not make us do the wave, but it would not have been out of place in that thing which they called a 'mass'.

During communion, they re-summoned the hand-signing horde for a mercifully brief song, and after this the Aquinas choir sang. They sounded absolutely amazing, and the only problem with this was that the students in the bleachers kept clapping.

The bishop casually dismissed the students after a 'Post Communion Reflection'. For the recessional hymn, they brought back the ODP (which should probably be called the RDP now) and the hand-signing horde for a jumbled festival of painful 'celebration'.

I've decided to forgive Aquinas. Their input into this mass was okay, and the choir didn't do anything weird. I'd almost gotten used to AQ school masses. No, this problem seemed to be rooted in Nazareth - their students were participating in the ODP and the hand signing horde, and the teachers were constantly urging the high school to clap along with anything that happened. I feel very, very sorry for all Nazareth students who probably have to put up with this every school mass. Nazareth students, you have my condolences. Welcome to Aquinas, please don't make our masses worse.